Why, As a Christian, I Do Not Hold to “Traditional Marriage”

For quite a while my inner being has cringed during the times I hear Christians use the term “traditional marriage.” However, I have not been able to put my finger exactly on why, since I am a Christian who holds to the rich history of the reformation, and the sufficiency of Scripture. But lately, as I have been reading more about marriage, I have finally been able to pin-point why the term isn’t satisfactory to me.

The term “traditional marriage” is not enough because the term is too shallow to hold the depth of meaning a biblical marriage has. Biblical marriage is a far more weighty thing than the term “traditional marriage” can hold. It is not weighty enough.

Let me explain what I mean, by going to the Bible. Here are some excerpts from Ephesians chapter 5:

“(vv22-28) Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

“(vv31-32) Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

What Ephesians 5 presents to us as marriage is something rather gigantic. This is far bigger and heavier than the flimsy, pathetic views of marriage rampant in our society.

The reason this is so massive is because what we learn is that marriage is in fact, not actually about marriage – at least not about marriage on earth. Contrary to the claims of our culture, marriage is not about being happy, or finding “the one”, or being with who you are “in love” with. Marriage is about the gospel. The physical union of a man and a woman in marriage is a proclamation of the gospel union between Christ and his church. This gives marriage a meaning of glorious heights and significance. The practical out-workings of marriage are meant to be a display of the grace of the gospel. Our temporal (for a lifetime) marriage is a small glimpse of the eternal marriage of Christ and his bride. The pleasures and joys of marriage are but little tastes of the eternal joys and pleasures of being united and bound up in Christ forever.

Since this is so, how dare we reduce marriage to “traditional values” for the sake of political agendas. And since this is so, how dare we attempt to redefine marriage for the sake of our political agendas and sinful longings. Marriage is sacred because the gospel is sacred.

And that’s just the point; in a culture where morality is relative we need more than “traditional values” to hold up biblical marriage. We, Christians, need to recapture belief in the biblical declaration of marriage as grand and glorious because it’s a declaration of a grand and glorious gospel. In an amoral culture this is vital, because our culture doesn’t care about traditional values.

That is my last point; the problem with “traditional marriage” is that it points to marriage, it points to morals or ethics. As right as it may be for marriage to be between a man and a woman, it is not enough, as we have seen. “Traditional marriage” points to morals, while biblical marriage points to the gospel. Morals will not save a culture on the slope of destruction, only the gospel of Jesus Christ will. That is why the meaning of marriage is important. In a culture that says “to hell with morals”, the church must, with louder conviction, proclaim, “up with Christ.” Morals that point to morals, or morals that are an end in themselves have a damning effect; as we have seen in our culture. But morals that point to the grace of God in the gospel of Jesus Christ can save a dying culture – which is the purpose of Christian morals, and specifically in Christian morals in Biblical marriage.

I hold to the biblical definition of marriage: Marriage is the gracious union of a man and a woman into a lifetime covenant, and is a display of the glorious union of Christ and the Church.

To my lovely fiance, Brittanie, I am beyond thrilled to be joined with you for a lifetime of displaying the gospel of Jesus Christ to the world, through our marriage.