Are You Using Social Media To Be Quarrelsome?

Picture of Blake Long
Blake Long

Social media is a great tool. It can be used to connect with old friends, find new connections, and post your thoughts. It is also a dangerous tool when abused. It can bring out the absolute worst in us.

One thing I see—either on Facebook or Twitter—is nonsense arguments from Christians. It seems like a lot of men enjoy stirring the pot and engaging in a heated argument with an anonymous Twitter troll. It’s rather obnoxious. It’s overboard polemics. The types of arguments and snarky one-liners (I will confess that I can be a snarky person sometimes, but I think it depends on the situation) are akin to Pulpit & Pen type antics: it’s quite ridiculous. Many men I see on social media get pleasure out of arguments on just about anything, whether it’s over baptism or social justice.

Please don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying to never get in a discussion/argument on social media. But what I am saying is don’t go looking for one.

Brother, don’t be quarrelsome. Not only is that not a trait of a man who desires to be a pastor, but it’s not a winsome trait of a lay Christian, either.

But, before I go further, I should give a biblical definition of what a quarrel is, what it means to be a quarrelsome Christian.

What Does It Mean to be Quarrelsome?

Kevin DeYoung, Pastor of Christ Covenant Church, said this about the issue:

“Quarrels, at least in Proverbs, are unnecessary arguments, the kind that honorable men stay away from (17:14; 20:3). These fights aren’t the product of a loving rebuke or a principled conviction. These quarrels arise because people are quarrelsome. Some Christians have a lifeline to Speedway and love to pour gasoline on every tiny spark of conflict.”

DeYoung—better yet, Proverbs—hits the nail on the head. Quarrels are unnecessary arguments, and that’s virtually all we see on Facebook and Twitter. You can make a valuable opinion about something be an obnoxious sound bite on social media if you don’t converse with gentleness and grace.

If all you do on social media is argue non-stop, delete the app off your phone and don’t get on for a long time.

Brothers, Let’s Be Better

God calls us to be gentle, kind, compassionate. He doesn’t call us to be hateful, argument-starting jerks that don’t care about answers. KB, in his new song “Long Live the Champion,” says this convicting line: “You do not want answers, you want arguments.”

Men, think about KB’s indictment here. When you argue on social media, are you looking for answers anda common ground, or are you looking to throw your unwanted opinion in the ring and stir the pot more?

Examine your motives. Test your heart. Act biblically. It does not please God’s heart to see His beloved children arguing incessantly just because it is fun. Think before you tweet; think before you post.

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  1. You go ahead and keep on preachin’ now! Love these posts so far geared toward men. Sometimes we just need to be grabbed by the shoulder and looked in the eye.

  2. Quarrelsome people are just spinning their wheels, and doing harm to their character and the image of God they’re called to represent. Been there, done that myself. We all have to learn to discern motivations, the others and our own, and pick your fights as they say. Is the fellow sincere in their questions, or just looking to ruffle feathers for kicks. As for me, am I being patient and humble for the gospel’s sake, or do I just want to win an argument and be right. Or am I merely ruffling feathers for sport too. Better to posit the seed just so, gently, and see if it germinates, than hurl it forcefully and tamp it down with arrogance. But since that is such the norm on social media, its hard to say social media is a place I ought to linger. Its easy to see why people/businesses/orgs use FB, such numbers, but hard to see why some remain. It can be uplifting in moderation, or I can let it steal my joy. Ive enjoyed this site much more, there seems to be more respect for others. I may we wrong, too new to it to say.

  3. You go ahead and keep on preachin’ now! Love these posts so far geared toward men. Sometimes we just need to be grabbed by the shoulder and looked in the eye.

  4. Quarrelsome people are just spinning their wheels, and doing harm to their character and the image of God they’re called to represent. Been there, done that myself. We all have to learn to discern motivations, the others and our own, and pick your fights as they say. Is the fellow sincere in their questions, or just looking to ruffle feathers for kicks. As for me, am I being patient and humble for the gospel’s sake, or do I just want to win an argument and be right. Or am I merely ruffling feathers for sport too. Better to posit the seed just so, gently, and see if it germinates, than hurl it forcefully and tamp it down with arrogance. But since that is such the norm on social media, its hard to say social media is a place I ought to linger. Its easy to see why people/businesses/orgs use FB, such numbers, but hard to see why some remain. It can be uplifting in moderation, or I can let it steal my joy. Ive enjoyed this site much more, there seems to be more respect for others. I may we wrong, too new to it to say.

    1. Good words! And, I too wonder often why people continue to use social media. I think it gives people a pseudo sense of connection and even purpose even if all they partake in is gawking and bickering. It’s sad we are so easily satisfied with this in life now. That’s why spaces like this site and our online outposts like our Facebook community, and mostly, the local church are so valuable. Places where we can edify and encourage and equip one another. Stick around and join in!

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