My call to pastoral ministry was clear. No doubt about it, God had been preparing me and calling me to shepherd the flock. To preach the Word. I had yielded to the call nearly a decade ago and been preparing for the task my entire life.
In God’s providence, I was called to enter the pastorate at Central Baptist Church in Paris, Kentucky just last week.
After much preparation and anticipation, I began the long journey from my place in Fort Worth, Texas back to my old Kentucky home. I was making the drive on Wednesday, getting unpacked and settled in for a couple of days, and then entering the pulpit to deliver my first message on Sunday morning. This was what I had been preparing for, and I couldn’t wait.
I got up very early Wednesday morning to tackle the cross-country trek in one day. While still early in the drive, my phone rang. It was the associate pastor of families and students at my new church. No doubt, he was just calling to tell me how excited everyone was and to welcome me to town.
But that’s not why he was calling. He was calling to tell me that COVID-19 was spreading quickly in Central Kentucky. That several cases had been confirmed in areas just outside our little town. And that the governor of Kentucky had just issued a statement suggesting that all churches suspend their gatherings for the coming Sunday. My first Sunday.
This isn’t how it was supposed to go. This isn’t how I had envisioned being a senior pastor.
I wasn’t closing the doors. The people of God are ruled by faith, not fear. We gather together when times are good and when times are bad. We need to hear from God, and we need to be together. I was resolute.
The next couple of days were some of the craziest days in recent American history. Sports were canceled across the board. Government mandates rolled in, barring gatherings of any substantial size. The weight of the impending decision began to weigh on me. Should we cancel services? Do we try to put together a live stream? What do I say to my flock?
This isn’t how it was supposed to go. This isn’t how I had envisioned being a senior pastor.
After so much weighty prayer, countless phone conversations, and several sleepless nights, I finally recognized the wisest decision for our congregation was to close the doors on Sunday morning and to cancel all activities throughout the week. We would try to put together a livestream option for Sunday morning, something that had never been done at Central Baptist Church.
I was supposed to be preaching to a large gathering on Sunday. There was supposed to be natural momentum with the new pastor. There was supposed to be excitement and anticipation and energy.
Instead, the doors had to be closed. Instead, I preached to an empty room with a small phone right in front of my face. Instead, there was uncertainty and fear and disappointment.
This isn’t how it was supposed to go. This isn’t how I had envisioned being a senior pastor.
But in the midst of all the chaos and the uncertainty, there has been a strange sense of calm. There have been many, many difficult decisions. Leadership has never been more challenging. And never before has so much been at stake. But the people of God continue to show me grace and mercy during this trying time. They continue to encourage me. And they continue to eagerly await the preaching of the Word of God.
I thought pastoral ministry would include big gatherings on Sunday morning to hear the Word preached. I thought there would be a normalized routine, lunch meetings with church members, handshakes with folks after the service, and a whole lot of time together. That’s how it was supposed to go. That’s how I envisioned being a senior pastor.
And somewhere along the way, those things will happen.
But not right now. Right now, ministry looks different. Ministry looks like livestreaming services, phone calls and emails to keep our distance, and navigating uncertain times together. Ministry looks like providing leadership and counsel and stability by pointing people to the Rock of Ages. Like preaching and teaching the truth and helping the people of God understand how to respond to the new world around us.
And this is exactly how it was supposed to go. This is exactly how God envisioned me beginning my time as a senior pastor.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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