Years ago, I read the book “Raising a Modern Day Knight”. It was a goofy 90’s book about raising sons and giving them rites of passage. I recommend the book because it get you thinking about being intentional with raising children. When Ransom was born (And Valor 3 years later) I really pressed into what it means to be a man and what it means to raise sons. Here is the first iteration of my attempt to put together a path toward manhood for my sons Ransom and Valor. I am putting this together for my self and for other fathers wanting to raise sons into men.
Rites of Passage Toward Manhood.
a. All of life is about worship. The boy needs to know this from an early age.
b. Rite of Passage? Sometime a little after the boy repents and believes in Jesus, gather a small group of men that you respect and that he knows. Ask these men to tell your son about the Love of Christ and what being a Christian man is.
a. Include your son in as much work you can do. From a young age, he should be acquainted with work.
b. Rite of Passage? During their teenage years, use a “Titanic” task that seems impossible, and assign the work to him. This may be clearing out and burning trees or demolishing a house. Any job that requires persistence, plodding, sweat, and likely blood will do. When the project is completed, celebrate it and bestow a reward (Gift) upon him.
a. Require your son to work out and/or take mma or self-defense training.
b. Sons need to be trained and prepared to use and take care of firearms. When he turns 21, he should be ready to conceal carry.
c. Rite of Passage? Beat you in wrestling. Complete a skills course with a variety of different firearms.
a. Sons need to understand how money works. He will be required to make and manage money.
b. He also will need to be prepared to provide for other needs that being a head of household demands.
c. Rite of passage? One month of hunting/fishing for everything he eats. No food should be provided except what he can provide for his self.
a. Our sons are born leaders. God demands that of them. He is built to overcome adversity. We must tell them.
b. Rite of passage? Prepare and lead and week-long outdoor adventure/survival trip. The father has spent his life leading the son, now is the time for the son to lead the trip for he and his father.
a. Love should be the standard M.O. of the household. The Father should lead the way with this.
b. Rite of passage? When it becomes obvious that the son is learning to deny himself before God and men, a ceremony is fitting. This should include a valuable gift, and good meal, and a good drink, tailored to the young man. The father should speak to his son about sacrifice as we follow in the footsteps of our Master.