A sermon preached by Gabriel Hughes on the Lord’s Day, February 18, 2024; at Providence Reformed Baptist Church in Casa Grande, AZ.
Seventeenth century puritan John Maynard wrote a work entitled, Truth, the Great Business of Our Times. In it, he said, “To pretend to possess Truth, but not it allow it that sovereignty due it, is indeed to reject it. Let Truth rule your judgment, will, and affections in all things.”
For the last couple of weeks, we have considered what it means to be trained in godliness—understanding how our belief in the gospel shapes our actions that we may grow in Christ-likeness. Today, we consider further how the truth rules over our will and affections, namely when it comes to how we care for the needs of widows in the church. Please stand in honor of the word of the King. I’m reading from 1 Timothy 5:1-16 out of the English Standard Version. Hear the word of the Lord:
“1 Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.
“3 Honor widows who are truly widows. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God. 5 She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, 6 but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. 7 Command these things as well, so that they may be without reproach. 8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
“9 Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband, 10 and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work. 11 But refuse to enroll younger widows, for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry 12 and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith. 13 Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. 14 So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander. 15 For some have already strayed after Satan. 16 If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them. Let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are truly widows.”
Introduction
In Luke 7, Jesus came to a town called Nain. It is the only place in the Bible that mentions this little town, located about 15 miles southwest of the Sea of Galilee. His disciples and a great crowd had followed him there. And as he approached the entrance to the town, they came upon a funeral procession. A man had died and was being carried out on a bier to be buried (a bier might be like a gurney or a cart on which a body is transported for burial).
Luke recalls that this man was the only son of his mother, who was a widow. It appeared as if most of the town was part of this funeral procession to mourn with her. So you have Jesus with His disciples and a large crowd going in to the town as this huge funeral crowd is coming out.
Verse 13 says that when the Lord saw the widow, “He had compassion on her and said to her, ‘Do not weep.'” And He came up and touched the beir, and those who were carrying the body stood still. And Jesus said, “Young man, I say to you, arise.” The dead man sat up and began to speak, and verse 15 says, “Jesus gave him back to his mother.”
“Fear seized them all,” Luke said, “and they glorified God, saying, ‘A great prophet has arisen among us!’ and ‘God has visited His people!’ And this report about Him spread through the whole of Judea and all the surrounding country.”
This miracle, occurring early in Luke’s gospel, is likely the first account chronologically of Jesus raising someone from the dead. And it demonstrates not only His power over death itself—for He too would soon die and rise from the dead—but it also demonstrates His compassion for people. The first time Jesus brought the dead back to life, it was a widow’s son who cared for her. She had no one left. But Jesus raised him from the dead, and gave him to her.
Our God has great concern for widows. As we heard this morning from Psalm 146, “He upholds the widow and the fatherless.” Psalm 68:5 says, “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in His holy habitation.” When He rebukes Israel through the prophet Isaiah for their lack of godliness, He tells them, “Learn to do good,” and then describes what that good is: “seek justice, correct oppression, bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause” (Isaiah 1:17).
God’s heart for widows should also be the heart of His church. Weeks back, when we were in 1 Timothy 3, considering the qualifications for deacons, I mentioned to you that the very first deacon’s ministry that we see in the early church, according to Acts 6, was caring for widows. The apostle has been writing to Timothy about how one ought to behave in the household of God. Over the last couple of weeks, we considered being trained in godliness. And one of those basic, godly ministries the household of God should be invested in is caring for our widows. For as we also heard this morning from James 1:27, “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.”
As we look here at these 16 verses, as usual, this breaks up into these three parts:
- The regard for all men and women in the church (v.1-2).
- The responsibility of honoring the widows in the church (v.3-8).
- The requirements for being enrolled as widows in the church (v.9-16).
In this we learn how as the household of God, in the pursuit of godliness, we care about what God cares about: how we are to regard each other in the church, especially caring for those most in need, for God considered our need through His Son, Jesus Christ.
The Regard for All Men and Women in the Church (v.1-2)
First of all, even though the bulk of these instructions has to do with our care for widows, you’ll notice that the chapter begins with this in verses 1-2, in how we are to regard all men and women in the church: “Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.”
Remember again that Timothy is a young man, probably in his young 30s, being sent to pastor this church in Ephesus. He’s been told not to let anyone look down on him for his youth, but to set the believers an example. But though he is a pastor, there is still a manner of respect he is to show certain people in this church. And this is likewise to set an example before them.
You don’t regard an older man in the church the same way you would a younger man. “Do not rebuke an older man.” This word means to chide or strike at with insensitive or brutal words. Instead, you are to “encourage him as you would a father.” No one has had more an influence on my spiritual growth than my own father. It is because of my dad that I am walking with the Lord today. If I ever had to correct my dad, do you think I would do it the same way I would have to rebuke one of my younger brothers?
One time after one of my brothers got caught drinking under age, I sat on his chest and yelled at him for about half an hour. That’s probably not the best approach to dealing with a younger brother either. But I wouldn’t dream of doing something like that to my dad.
So likewise, regard older men in the church as you would your father, younger men as brothers—not like sitting on their chest and yelling at them (that is not a new disciplinary action we’ll begin taking here at Providence). In saying that you regard younger men as brothers, this does not mean that you pull rank: “Hey, I’m older than you, so you better listen to me.” The main intention here is that you regard him as a friend and not as someone who is inferior to you.
Galatians 6:1 says, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.” And 2 Thessalonians 3:15 says, “Do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.”
And just as these instructions are given of older and younger men, so they also apply to older and younger women: regard “older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.” This instruction is given to Timothy, a pastor, in how he regards the women in his church. Regard them with the same affection as you would the men. But with the women, Paul instructs Timothy to treat them as sisters “with all purity.” Let there not be any impropriety, some manner that would be socially improper, in the way Timothy treats younger women. Paul has a very similar instruction for Titus. I’m going to come back to this again when we get to Titus 2 in a few months.
The Responsibility of Honoring Widows in the Church (v.3-8)
We’ve considered how Timothy is to regard all men and women in the church. Next, Paul’s instructions turn to the responsibility of honoring widows in the church. Look at verse 3: “Honor widows who are truly widows.”
Now, you might not think this sentence needs much definition. But what does it mean to honor widows? Specifically, Paul is saying that these widows should be supported financially. “Honor” isn’t always tied with money. Sometimes it simply means to revere. But to honor does mean to value. The Greek word tim-AH-o means to fix a value or to price. In this particular context, to honor is to financially care for.
In Matthew 15, the Pharisees asked Jesus, “Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat.” This had nothing to do with washing your hands like you tell your kids to do before they eat because their hands might be dirty. The Pharisees had made washing hands something of a legal requirement, lest you defile your food with unwashed hands and by what you eat make yourself spiritually unclean.
It was akin to having done something sexually immoral. According to one rabbinic writing, “Whoever eats bread without washing of hands, is as if he lay with a whore: and, says Rabi Eleazer, whoever despiseth washing of hands, shall be rooted out of the world,” and “He that blesseth food with defiled hands, is guilty of death.”
Jesus responded to this by saying, “And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? For God commanded, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ But you say, ‘If anyone tells his father or his mother, ‘What you would have gained from me is given to God, he need not honor his father.’ So for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God. You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said: ‘This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.'”
In other words, instead of financially supporting their mother and father, the Pharisees were taking their money and declaring it as sacred to be given unto the Lord: “Well since I have declared this money for God,” they reasoned, “I cannot give it to my parents to take care of them. Sorry, mom and dad.” So they preach, “Honor your father and your mother,” but then in not supporting their parents financially, they do not honor father and mother. And it doesn’t matter that they declared this money to God—they transgress the Law and therefore sin against God.
Even here in Matthew 15, Jesus connects honor with financial support. So when Paul says, “Honor widows who are truly widows,” he doesn’t mean name the church library after one of your widows. He means that the church needs to consider what their widows’ needs are and help to provide for them. This doesn’t necessarily mean the church needs to set aside a budget line item to care for widows. It could be one person takes it upon themselves to care for one widow. Or a family cares for a widow. Or maybe the church does put into their budget to care for their widows. No matter how this is accomplished, a woman who has no husband who is too old to care for herself is cared for by the church. That’s what it means to “honor widows who are truly widows.”
Now so we don’t take anything for granted here, what is a widow? When we see that word, we automatically think in our western world vernacular, “A woman whose husband has died.” But when the Bible uses that word widow, that may not be all it means. The definition of the Greek word used here is simply, “Lacking a husband.” Thayer’s Greek Lexicon adds that she is “barren.” So this could be a woman whose husband died, she could have been abandoned by her husband, or she may never have had a husband. And having never been married, she also has no children who can take care of her. Or she may have been barren and never had any children. These are those whom Paul calls “truly widows.”
Look at verse 4: “But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.” And then at the start of verse 5, Paul says, “She who is truly a widow, left all alone…”
So if this woman has children or grandchildren, she’s not “truly a widow,” as Paul describes here. She does have family who can take care of her. And they should first show godliness to their own household, honoring their parents by caring for their mother who is in need. In this way, the church is not burdened by having to care for someone whose own family can care for them. Let the resources of the church be reserved for those who are truly in the most need.
Let’s pick up again in verse 5: “She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day.” So this particular woman is a believer. This is not an instruction given to the church to go find all the widows in the community and care for them. This is specifically a woman who is a Christian. She has set her hope in God. Come what may, she knows God provides. She loves her Savior, and even her dire circumstances does not cause her to despair.
While verse 5 describes a woman who is all saint, verse 6 describes a woman who is all sinner: “but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.” John Gill says this is in reference to a woman who “lives a wanton, loose, and licentious life, serving divers lusts and pleasures.” She has not endured in the faith. She has turned back to her flesh and to the world for pleasure. She is dead in her transgressions and sins. She may still be alive in her body, but she is dead in her soul. She is no longer living as a member of the church of the living God.
As we continue to consider what it means to honor widows in the church, Paul says in verses 7-8, “Command these things as well, so that they may be without reproach. But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” Even pagans—even those who do not believe in the Lord Jesus Christ or care not for the law of God—know how to care for their families.
You know, despite how sexually depraved this culture has become—and it seems like things are only getting worse—the general consensus of our society still believes that cheating on your spouse is a bad thing. Have you noticed that?
I can still vividly remember when news broke on the day after Thanksgiving fifteen years ago, when famed golfer Tiger Woods crashed his Cadillac Escalade outside his mansion home. My dad and I were watching the news coverage that day. Tiger’s wife used his golf clubs to break out the rear windows of his vehicle. Following that incident, we came to find out that Tiger was a womanizing scum bag—the details of which I won’t elaborate on.
But once that news came out, the near-universal reaction to that was, “What a jerk,” to put it mildly. I didn’t hear one soul say anything like Tiger’s wife was unhinged. No, the reaction was more like Tiger is lucky that all she did was smash his back windows instead of smashing in his face. And though that incident really had nothing to do with Tiger’s golf game, it’s interesting to note his career was never the same after that, was it?
More recently, I was reading an article about a famous TV sitcom. At one point, the writers of the show wanted to have one of their main characters cheat on his wife. And the actor absolutely refused to film it. He put his foot down and said, “No way.” He told the creators of the show, “If you do this, our viewers will never forgive us.” How intuitive. Even in a work of fiction, even in a comedy show where many of the jokes are likely raunchy, there are some lines you just shouldn’t cross. Some things just aren’t funny.
The United States of America has descended into a level of sexual immorality that would make Sodom and Gomorrah blush. And yet most of America is still of the opinion that adultery is really very bad. When it comes to caring for your family, even unbelievers understand these concepts, though they care not for God and His word.
But a Christian has heard about God’s compassion for people most in need. Our greatest need is to be forgiven our sins and made right with God. The Son of God left His throne in heaven, put on flesh and dwelt among us, lived a perfect life on our behalf, died on the cross for our sins, rose again from the dead for our justification (Romans 4:25), is seated at the right hand of God interceding on our behalf, is coming back again to receive to Himself into His eternal kingdom. As Christ considered our need, so we should must consider others’ needs. And that begins at home, in our own families.
You have heard from the law of God how we are to honor father and mother (Exodus 20:12, repeated in Ephesians 6:2). You have heard how a husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25). You have heard how a wife is to submit to her husband as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:23). You have heard the instruction to fathers to raise children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4), and how a mother is to love her children and care for her home.
So if even unbelievers can understand caring for parents, spouse, and children, how much more should you follow these instructions, having heard from and known the heart of God? If you neglect the members of your own household, you’ve denied basic instructions of the faith, and that makes you worse than an unbeliever—who does not know the word of God and yet knows better than to neglect his family.
Requirements for Being Enrolled as Widows in the Church
So we’ve read here first of all the regard one is to have for all the men and women in the church, and we’ve heard secondly the responsibility to care for the widows of the church. Number 3, we read here about the requirements for being enrolled as widows in the church.
Look at verse 9: “Let a widow be enrolled.” Now let me stop there for a moment. Some of you are probably aware that for the last three Fridays on my podcast, Beki and I have been responding to questions from listeners about church membership.
There is not a specific instruction in the New Testament that says, “You must be an enrolled member of a church.” But there are various hints that membership was practiced in the early church, and these instructions regarding the care of widows is one of those places. If the first century churches had enrollment for widows, you can be assured they kept an enrollment of committed membership. How else could a widow be enrolled in anything if there wasn’t a committed membership to care for her?
So have that in mind as we read these instructions. Look again at verses 9-10: “Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband, 10 and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work.”
Paul gives these specifications so that the church won’t find itself burdened with caring for a bunch of people who probably don’t need the help as much, and thus depleting the church’s time and resources from caring for those who are the most in need.
Now, to say that she had “been the wife of one husband,” was not to say that she only ever had one husband in her life. Here in a moment, Paul urges younger widows to remarry. But if that second husband dies, is the woman not to be considered truly a widow because she had been married more than once? Now it could be that because she had two husbands, she has received the inheritance of two estates. In which case, that woman is probably well taken care of and doesn’t need to be considered for the enrollment.
But the point I believe is more like this: When you look at all the other characteristics of an enrolled widow, you see here that Paul is simply describing a godly woman. So to say that she was the wife of one man is like saying of a qualified overseer or deacon, back in chapter 3, that he must be a one woman man. He must be faithful to his wife. So likewise, this widow must have had a reputation of having been faithful to her husband. Especially when you consider that a woman might be a widow because she had been abandoned by her husband. Well, who was unfaithful here—the woman or her husband? If it had been her husband, that shouldn’t be held against her.
Did she have a reputation for godliness, as we had talked about in the previous chapter? She brought up children, she showed hospitality to others and was a generous and giving woman, she washed the feet of the saints as our Lord did for His disciples, when she was able-bodied and hard-working she cared for the afflicted, and she “has devoted herself to every good work.” These are not just qualifications for a woman to be enrolled as a widow in need of care. She is also a godly example to the whole church.
In verse 11, Paul says, “But refuse to enroll younger widows, for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry.” In verse 14, Paul says these younger widows should get remarried. So what does Paul mean here when he chides these younger widows for wanting to remarry? Notice that they have worldly passions that draw them away from Christ, so desiring to remarry means that they do something foolish and marry an unbeliever. Or maybe they marry a man for his money to fulfill their desires.
In verse 12, Paul goes on to say that they “incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith.” They have worldly passions that cause them to leave the faith. “Besides that,” he continues, “they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not.” Not submitting to a husband, not caring for their own households, they begin to mettle in others’ lives. They give in to fleshly temptations to become lazy and gossip about others. Remember last week in chapter 4, we read the instruction to show godliness “in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” What we’re reading about here is a picture of a woman who lacks all five. If this woman remains in your church, she becomes a burden in more ways than one, especially on the church’s resources.
So what is Paul’s solution to help prevent this kind of problem? Verses 14-15: “So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander. 15 For some have already strayed after Satan.”
For Paul to say, “some have already strayed after Satan,” that means this had already happened in this church. In his introduction to 1 Timothy, pastor John MacArthur says that he believes 1 Timothy is a polemic, which is a refutation against wrong ideas or practices. We saw how Paul jumped right in to rebuking false teachers, and he instructed Timothy from the start of the letter not to let anyone teach any different doctrine. So here, regarding what might happen to young widows, Paul is not mildly speculating—he’s speaking from experience, and he’s speaking into something that Timothy has already observed in this church. There may have been women on their widows’ rosters that shouldn’t have been there. In fact, they shouldn’t have been in that church.
As nineteenth century theologian Charles Ellicott notes, “They had swerved from the narrow, thorny road of self-denial which they had chosen for themselves, and perhaps dreading, after their public profession, to form afresh any legal married ties, had followed that downward path of sensuality which surely leads to Satan.”
Now just as Paul had suggested at the start of these instructions concerning the care of widows, so he comes back to at the end. It should be upon the members of a woman’s family to care for her before that responsibility falls to anyone else. Look at verse 16: “If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them. Let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are truly widows.”
Surely you’re familiar with the story of Ruth, and that is a picture of these instructions. Naomi’s husband died, and her sons died, one of her sons married to a Moabite woman named Ruth. But Ruth on her part remained with Naomi and cared for her widowed mother-in-law. As a young widow she remarried, her kinsmen redeemer named Boaz, and one of the things that attracted Boaz to Ruth, that got his attention, was the way she cared for her mother-in-law. And this couple were the great grandparents of David, and ancestors to the Christ who would come from their line. We see the care for widows even in Jesus’ own genealogy.
Conclusion
To recap, we have read here about the regard we are to have for all men and women in the church (v.1-2), the responsibility of honoring the widows in the church (v.3-8), and finally the requirements for being enrolled as a widow in the church (v.9-16).
In John 19, as Jesus is dying on the cross, there watching Him die as a sacrifice for sins were his mother, and his mother’s sister, and Mary Magdalene. Mary, the mother of Jesus, was a widow—her husband Joseph had died some time before, though the Scripture doesn’t tell us exactly when. The only disciple who was there was John. So there’s Jesus, dying for the sins of mankind, taking the wrath of God upon Himself on our behalf. And when He saw John standing near His mother, He said to her, “Woman, behold your son!” And then He said to John, “Behold, your mother.” And John 19:27 says, “And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.”
Even as Jesus was completing the most important and incredible work that a man has ever done in the history of the world—giving His life so that all who believe in Him will have everlasting life—He made sure that His own widowed mother was being taken care of. This is the heart of God, His compassion for those who are in need, especially for widows. May the church be a reflection of that compassion in the way we care for one another.
This manuscript does not necessarily reflect word-for-word what was preached. For a list of past sermons, visit www.prbccg.com.
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