The Family as Primary Ministry
God has been teaching me a lot about this in recent years and months. Here is a great quote from Jonathan Edwards in a book I am reading entitled, Good Christians, Good Husbands?:
Marriage is but a shadow, a mere resemblance of the heavenly marriage of Christ and His Church. In the same way, the relationship a minister has with his congregation is a marriage of sorts. It is but a shadow, a mere resemblance of the marriage relationship (and only in some particulars).
Here is the point: The relationship we have with the church is not equal in priority to the relationship we have with our wives and children. Leading, protecting, and providing for our families should trump leading, protecting, and providing for our churches 10/10 times. We should be more passionate about family discipleship than we are about our small group studies in the church. In fact, if we do not “manage our households well” we are not fit to lead the church (1 Tim. 3). Period.
Before I move further, let it be known that I believe it is possible to balance family ministry and church ministry in a way that brings great glory to God. I am not intending to pit the two against each other with what is coming in the next few paragraphs. I just want to stimulate thought.
From what I have read, Jonathan Edwards, in such practice, differed from other well-known men like George Whitefield, John Wesley, CT Studd, William Carey, and David Livingstone. These men, in belief and practice, consistently placed “the advancement of the Gospel” ahead of their families. As a result, their wives and children were severely neglected, driven insane, and/or to death. Yet we have enshrined them. Why? Because 40,000 people would gather in a cornfield to hear them preach? Because they translated a bible into a native language and “fathered modern missions”? Because they “ran a rescue shop within a yard of hell”? Because “the sheep that are not of this pen” drove them away from a life of comfort and ease and into the radical African jungle?
Without question, we should read their biographies and we should read them to our children. We should gain great encouragement from their lives. We should thank God for how He used them to do extraordinary things in advancing His kingdom. But let us not forget the cost. Unfortunately, many biographers have. The family is never dispensable in the kingdom of Christ.
Back to Jonathan Edwards. Whereas Carey is best known for fathering modern missions, Edwards faithfully fathered his 11 children. Edwards aimed to leave a spiritual legacy with them, and God blessed that. A study of 1400 descendants shows 100 lawyers, 66 doctors, 13 college presidents, 30 judges, 65 professors, 80 public office holders, 3 senators, 3 governors, 1 Vice President, 25 officers in the army and navy, and many pastors and missionaries.
What an exciting vision! What if every household in our churches was sold out to it? What if churches existed to equip families to do this? What if pastoring your home was your number one ministry?
When we come to die, our tombstones should say, “Here lies a faithful husband and father,” before they ever say, “Here lies a faithful pastor/missionary.”
What say you?
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